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Dec
09

Why Men Are Afraid Of Marriage

By

I hear this statement from women all the time.

Why are men so afraid of marriage? Why are all guys so scared of proposing to a woman they love? Why can’t I find a man that wants to get married?

The answer to this question is, men are not afraid of marriage. What men are scared of is marrying or committing to the wrong woman. There is not a single man alive that would not be willing to marry a beautiful model, who is intelligent, financially successful and has the heart of an angel.  In fact many of these commitmentphobes women talk about would jump on a opportunity like that faster then most other men.

It is not that these men are afraid of marriage, its just he might be afraid of marrying you.  That might sound mean, but you have to understand that the reason he is hesitant is because he has seen something within you that makes him a bit uneasy. Instead of jumping into marriage with you, he is holding off to make sure what he has seen doesn’t get any worst.

What you have to understand about men is we never to rarely ever think about the future when it comes to relationships.  The only time we get a glimpse of the future is when we see something we don’t like.  When we are just starting to date a woman, we call these moments “Red Flags” as they are meant to warn us about getting into a relationship with this person.  When a man is in a monogamous long term relationship with a woman, these future glimpses become even more powerful and scary.

The reason they become so powerful is because he knows who you are now, he knows how you act, he has seen you at your best when the relationship was all passion and fireworks, and he has seen you at your worst.  He has also seen you change as a person, he knows what you want in a relationship and what you expect out of a relationship.  He has a clear mental map of his life with you in it.

Then one day he may notice something that will change his calculation of how his life will be with you in the future. This could be a number of things, a prime example may be nagging.  In the beginning of the relationship you never nagged, you both got along so well.  Now you may nag him at least once a day.

Once he realizes this he will do a quick calculation in his head.  “If she presently nags me once a day, then that means 10 years from now, when we’re married she will nag me 10x more each day.”

This calculation can be used on anything in the relationship, ie: always upset, screaming, crying, never happy, depressed, over shopping, irresponsible behavior, etc.

There is also a similar calculation for moments when his needs are not being met.  For example “If we only make love once a month which is not enough, then that means in 10 years, we will be having sex once a year or less.”  He knows that if his needs are not being satisfied now, then he is definitely in for an unsatisfied life in the future if he gets married.

So what does he do? He slows the idea of marriage down.  He bides his time and waits to see how you will change before he will make any decision about marrying you.

Why doesn’t he talk to you about how he is feeling?  Every man knows saying “Sweetie, I love you, but you really do some things that make me question whether marriage is even a possibility with you.” is a one way ticket to the biggest and worst argument of his life.  Instead of having this inevitable blow up, he will wait and watch.

Is this the right way to do it? Probably not, but when a man who naturally doesn’t ever think about the future gets that shocking glimpse of a tragic and terrifying future it can be scary.  So you have to keep in mind, it is not the fact he is scared of marriage.  In fact he is not even scared of marrying you.  He is scarred of the future you that doesn’t even exist.  To get him to want to get married you need to learn how to show him what an amazing future he will have and how all his calculations are wrong.  To learn more go to ===> How To Get Your Boyfriend To Propose

Sincerely,

Paul Wright

paulwrigth@decodingmen.com

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