Why Men Marry

Despite popular belief, men do want to get married. Discover what men need in order to take the next step into marriage with a woman.

How To Get Him To Propose

Listen to men reveal secrets that most men never want women to ever hear about how to get their boyfriend to go down on one knee and propose marriage to them

The Women Men Marry

Learn about the types of women men desperately want to marry and the types of women men will never even consider marrying

Security Is Essential For A Proposal


When I meet couples who have been together for some time and have finally come to the decision to marry, I often wonder why.  Not that I’m against marriage in any way, shape or form; I think it’s great when people make that commitment.  I’m just genuinely curious about what it is that drives them over that threshold.  On the occasions when I have been forward enough to ask though, I have been disappointed by the response.  For many, it ‘just seemed like the right thing to do,’ or one party ‘had always wanted to be married’ and so they take the plunge.  It appears that the wedding will make no quantifiable difference to their relationship, and has no purpose but to change one party’s name and justify a big party.
Maybe that is why many men in relationships sometimes don’t rush to take that step – because they can’t see the point.  We’ve all heard the saying, ‘why buy the cow if you get the milk for free,’ and while it is crudely put, there is a kernel of truth there.  If being married will make no difference to the relationship, then men (being basic cost-benefit type machines) simply can’t understand the necessity.  It seems like a waste of effort and money to make the change only to have virtually no effect.  In my experience a number of men will eventually propose in order to achieve one thing – to keep their partner happy.  Ultimately, that is the only difference it makes to them.
So what does this mean to the woman trying to get her man to commit?  Before she starts leaving Bride and Groom magazines conspicuously on the coffee table, she needs to think about what it is she is trying to achieve.

* What is in the marriage commitment that doesn’t already exist in the relationship?

* What message does this process communicate to her, and to him, and to those around them both?

* And what outcome will they both enjoy as a result of being Mr and Mrs, that doesn’t come from being ‘significant others?’
The answers may vary between couples, but in my experience the one key difference between several years of living together and walking down the aisle is security.  Although the substance of the relationship isn’t really affected, marriage is still like ‘locking the back door.’  Today’s divorce statistics make it clear that nothing has to be forever, but marriage certainly makes it harder to walk away from a relationship than most other arrangements.  Where cohabitation can be reversed with a moving van and a weekend, a marriage is harder to dissolve.  In this way it provides a sense of permanence, of stability and certainty.  Both partners are assured in a culturally meaningful way that the relationship they live in is secure, solid and intended for life.  While those things may be spoken and felt outside of a marriage, when they are uttered in a wedding ceremony they take on a deeper personal, cultural and legal weight.
So if you are expecting your man to pop the question, you might need him to understand it in these terms.  He is not ‘making an honest woman’ of you – he is promising you that what you both feel and hold dear is real and lasting.  Instead of looking at it as a dead tradition, he needs to see it as a symbolic affirmation of what you both have invested yourselves in.  It’s not something superficial, but a commitment to the substance of your relationship.  This is a quantum shift in thinking, and there needs to be careful communication in order for it to happen.  He needs to see that the impetus is not an insecurity, but a pledge of greater security; a closing out of any suggestion there could be that he doesn’t want what you both have to grow, flourish and last.

To learn how you can make your boyfriend feel more secure, so he will feel comfortable proposing go to ===> How To Get Your Boyfriend To Propose


Dan Kelly


Paul’s Thoughts

Men must have security in a relationship to feel safe and comfortable.  There are a number of problems currently facing many men in feeling secure enough in their relationship to want to propose.  One of those reasons is the fact that divorce statistics are now showing that between 63 – 80% of divorces are initiated by women.

If men must have security within a relationship to get married, then this plays a big fact in the back of any man’s mind when it comes to proposing to a woman.  For the large majority of men when it comes to marriage, they see themselves being in the marriage till the end.  This is why they need to feel they will receive the same kind of security in return.

There are ways to help a man realize that he has nothing to worry about and that he should feel completely secure within your relationship to take the next step ===> Securing His Proposal


Paul Wright

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