Why Men Marry

Despite popular belief, men do want to get married. Discover what men need in order to take the next step into marriage with a woman.

How To Get Him To Propose

Listen to men reveal secrets that most men never want women to ever hear about how to get their boyfriend to go down on one knee and propose marriage to them

The Women Men Marry

Learn about the types of women men desperately want to marry and the types of women men will never even consider marrying

Archive for Women Men Marry

Apr
29

Searching For Mom

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Men want to marry their moms.  I’m sure you have heard that phrase before.  However, the reasons why men want to marry their mothers and why women believe they do, differ greatly.  Many women believe the reason is because men want to be babied and pampered their whole lives. For some men this is definitely true. There are a number of mamaboys, who will always be suckling at his mother’s breast no matter how old he is.  These men are easy to spot, they are constantly calling their moms, always checking in and can’t make a single decision without consulting with her.  These men are to be avoided like the plague, as you will never replace or even come close to being the number one women in his life.

For all other men who have a regular normal relationship with their mom, they are not looking to be pampered or babied.  The reason why they are looking for a woman like their mom to marry is because a man wants a woman like his mom to raise his children.  You see, most men think they are a good person, and they believe their parents did a decent job raising them.  Which is why they are a decent human being.  Now as a man, a guy knows he will do the best job he can to raise his children.  However, the woman he is with is an unknown factor.  Therefore, to better ensure that his future children are taken care of, a man looks for similar characteristics between a woman he is with and his mom.

There are lots of women these days who express zero motherly characteristics. If you love to party all night, drink like a fish, and constantly goofing off with your friends, don’t be surprised when he doesn’t recognize you as the mother type.  I’m not saying you can’t have fun in life, but the reason he might not have proposed yet is because he can’t see the potential mother in you.  It might be time to show him.

What is the best way to do this? Get to know his mom, see what she is like and recognize the similarities between the both of you.  Start expressing those similarities for him to see.  Notice how I said similarities, you don’t need to change yourself.  You just need to express similar characteristics, characteristics that you already have, but have not been overly evident up to this point.

A prime example of this would be Kevin and his wife Stacey.  Kevin and Stacey first met when Kevin was 30 and Stacey was 25.  While neither one of them was really thinking of marriage, Kevin started growing tired of the fact that Stacey always wanted to party, drink and have a good time.  She never really thought of anything else.  She never took life to serious and didn’t ever think about life further then the next weekend.  Wanting to become more serious Kevin felt this just wasn’t the type of woman he could do that with.

They didn’t see each other for seven years, but when they finally met again Kevin realized Stacey had completely changed.  She was done with all the partying and as Kevin described her “She had become the type of woman he would want to have a family with”  After only six months of dating Kevin proposed marriage and they now have two beautiful healthy children together.  While its true they were in different places in their lives when they first met, according to Kevin it was the fact that once he realized she would be a good mother he wanted to get married.  Discover more reasons as to why your boyfriend might be holding back his marriage proposal.

Sincerely,

Paul Wright

Nov
21

Don’t Be A Bitch

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I was reading an article the other day where a woman advised women everywhere that the way to get men to commit to them was to be a bitch. I have to say that in my experience, no guy wants to marry that kind of woman. In fact, that usually kills a relationship rather than deepens it. However as I reflected on her writing I had to give her some credit – there was some truth in some of her less extreme assertions. I think I can meet her halfway; if you want to do more than amuse a guy for a while, at least be someone of substance.

That means you need to have a sense of yourself that isn’t dependent on him, or anyone else, and that you need to be willing to stand up on your own. When you start dating someone, it is only natural that you want to make a good impression. Unfortunately, too many women think that means making themselves into the model of everything he thinks he wants. He likes art? She becomes Ms. Postmodern Art Critic. He likes clubs? She becomes Miss Rave-All-Night. The problem is, after not too much of this, he will notice. He’ll start wondering how genuine she is, or at worst, how far he can push this super-compliant personality. A little later in the relationship boredom will set in and he will be making excuses for distancing himself.

However, if you know what you like and want, and aren’t looking to him to dictate it to you, there will be something about you that will keep his interest. He will find there is a you to discover for himself, and the contrasts between you will sharpen his attraction. This doesn’t mean you can’t make efforts to take an interest in what he likes or wants, it just means you don’t reshape your personality around his. On the other side, you don’t have to be harsh about it either. Being yourself doesn’t require you to shoot him or anyone else down in flames. Quiet strength is the best kind. Simply know that the best way to impress someone isn’t by molding yourself in their image but by being confident of your own.

So don’t think guys want to marry a ‘bitch.’ They don’t. But if they meet a confident girl who knows her own mind and isn’t afraid to make it known, they will make sure she doesn’t get away.  Discover more ways to show him you are the woman he has to marry

Sincerely,

Dan Kelly

 

Sep
28

One Reason Why Men Marry

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I know that marriage is supposed to be about falling in love and wanting to spend the rest of your life with the person you love.  Therefore, if your boyfriend loves you he should automatically want to marry you.  Well I’m here to tell you, love is only one of the reasons why men get married.

One of the big reasons why men marry is because the person they are with is an amazing partner. Let’s look at some of the things that make up a good life partner for a man:

  • A partner is someone that works with them to create a life. A future that they both can enjoy and look forward to living each and every day.  Not just someone who is pretty and believes they are special.  There are lots of beautiful women in this world and everybody is special because we are all unique.  At least that is what they taught us in elementary school.
  • Someone who supports him no matter what.  Its easy to find a person who is willing to support someone during the good times.  Ask yourself, you would be willing to stay and support him, If he lost his job, had no income and was completely bankrupt?  Would you be willing to support him both financially and emotionally?
  • Are you a calming, relaxing and loving environment to be around?  Work is a constant source of stress, so coming home to you is supposed to be a calm environment where he can re-energize for the next day.  If you are a constant emotional roller coaster, that is a complete drain on him, there is a large chance he will not marry you.
  • Do you help to make his life easier? Do you give him the support and helping hand he needs to achieve his goals? This does not mean he should not help and support you, but you need to look at whether you really give him the helping hand he needs.  The simplest way to do this is to look at whether his life is easier with you in it or if it is easier for him to be single. Would he have more money in his account without you?  Would he have more time to focus on his business, hobbies or the things he really enjoys?  Would he be less stressed?

These are just a few of the factors that make up a good partner and will influence him to look at marriage more seriously.  There is one thing I continuously hear in every speech a successful man gives and that is “I would not be where I am, if it was not for my loving wife.”  Love didn’t help to get the man to where he is. It was the fact that his loving wife was an amazing partner who helped support him in doing what he needed to do to succeed.  She was that extra helping hand that he needed.  She was the partner in life, that he had been looking for.

Partnership is something every man looks for and needs in a marriage. Learn how to talk to your boyfriend about getting married

Sincerely,

Paul Wright

May
16

The Wedding Secret

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I know and understand that having a dream wedding is important for every woman. Making sure that your wedding is memorable and special is crucial for that little girl inside a woman. Feeling like she is a princess for one day is a dream come true.

I must admit I love watching wedding shows on tv. I like seeing that magical moment created from beginning to end. There is one thing I see in these wedding shows and that is the wedding is all about the woman. It seems that nobody really cares if the groom even shows up.

These brides want red carpets, horse drawn carriages, massive rings, giant flower arrangements, massive banquet halls, and then things get strange with circus performers or stunt acts.  I could write an entire book on the crazy things some women come up with for weddings to make them unique.

What these brides are forgetting is that a wedding is supposed to be the public declaration of love between two people. To let all friends and family know that they are committed to each other “until death do us part.” It is also a time to let your partner know that despite all the people in the world, that you choose them. To make your partner feel your love and to show your love in front of everybody. To scream your love to the world.

Do you understand why a man would become hesitant about getting married as the price rises and things become more and more extravagant? Of course, If a man loves you he wants to make the wedding day special for the woman he is marrying.  At the same time the groom wants he to feel loved and special on his wedding day as well.

A guy doesn’t need the giant ten foot cake, the $50,000 banquet hall, or a horse drawn carriage to feel special. To feel special a man needs to have your love and attention on his wedding while being surrounded by friends and family.

When you are thinking about, talking about and/or planning your wedding with your boyfriend always remember to ask yourself is this about making you (as the bride) feel special or for the both of you to feel special. If all your focus is on you and making you feel special, don’t be surprised when your boyfriend begins to get cold feet. Planning your wedding is a huge decision and if you are going to be selfish in this decision, its probably just a sign of things to come. No man wants to be with a selfish woman. If he thinks that you will be selfish in every major decision the both of you will have to make together, then chances are good it will scare him off the idea of getting married. For your wedding focus on expressing your love for him and not just seeing what you can do to make you feel more special. This is key to getting your boyfriend to be excited about getting married.

Sincerely,

Paul Wright

Mar
15

Why Won’t He Propose To Me

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Women always ask themselves one question whenever their boyfriend doesn’t seem that interested in getting married, “Why won’t he propose to me?” As with many things that we face in life, most people tend to look at it from their own point of view.  A woman could been in a relationship for 3 years, and the relationship doesn’t seem to be going anywhere.  Not to mention the window for having children is closing and the guy doesn’t seem to be motivated to start a family.  All any woman would want to know is why he won’t propose, but he refuses to even talk about marriage.

I’m sure some of this sounds a bit familiar.  The problem that is not being addressed is that there are two people in this relationship.  I’m going to go on the assumption that if you are wanting him to propose that he must be a decent guy, who takes care of your needs. So with that in mind, while you are thinking “Why won’t he propose to me?” what you should be asking yourself is “Why would he propose to you?” Instead of just thinking about marriage from your point of view, try understanding marriage from his. You need to honestly look at yourself and your relationship.  Ask yourself what do you as the second half of this relationship really bring to the table?

When a man is dating a woman, he will look at his relationship and ask himself “Why would I propose to her?”  The simple answer to that question is are his needs as a man being met in the relationship.  I know that doesn’t sound very politically correct, but just as a woman must have her feminine needs met, so does a man.  If his needs are not being met, there is no motivation to get married.

You see, if his needs are not being met 2 or 3 years into the relationship, then that means (in his mind) that 10 or 20 years later his needs are definitely not going to be met.  Why get married now to someone who doesn’t give him everything he wants, when he could potentially meet someone who will meet all of his needs at any time.

There are two things you must understand:

1) A man will stay in a relationship that he is not completely happy with. He will wait to see if someone better might come along.

2) A man will never tell you that he is dissatisfied with the relationship and he will say he is perfectly happy if you ever ask him.  Why? Most women get extremely angry when a man says he is not satisfied, so its best to lie and avoid the argument.

One of the best ways to motivate a man into marriage is to show him that you can satisfy his needs.  This does not mean you have to cook and clean 24/7, become like his mom or service his every desire.  Just as you need your feminine desires and needs taken care of, so does he need his masculine needs taken care of.  Remember this is a partnership, since your here I’m going to guess he does a good job in taking care of your needs.  I on the other hand, have never met a man who was with a woman who took care of all of his needs and refused to marry that woman.  I have met lots of men who refused to marry a woman who did not think of a man’s needs, but was overly concerned about getting married. Before you blame him for not wanting to take the relationship to the next stage, maybe you should be asking yourself if you have motivated him enough to want to get married. Discover what a man needs in order to get married

Sincerely,

Paul Wright

paulwright@decodingmen.com

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Feb
01

Why Men Hold Off Getting Married

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We have all seen it, very few men are eager to walk down the aisle.  I’m sure you have thought to yourself or talked to many of your girlfriends about it. Why is it that men are so hesitant to commit to marriage? Why do men always seem like they want to wait when it comes to marriage?

There are a couple of reasons why most men are not overly eager to jump on the marriage train.

1) Everybody Man Or Women Wants To Marry The Best Person They Can

It is human nature to find the best (genetically strongest) partner you can.  Women do this and men are no different.  Men want to marry the best woman they can.  They never know when they might run into her.  In fact that super model, who makes lots of money, loves to cook and take care of her man and just so happens to love short funny looking men, might coming walking around that corner any minute.  If the man is married, he will miss that chance.

It may seem silly to you, but in the back of every man’s mind is the possibility that something better could be just around the corner.

2) A Man’s Stock Goes Up As He Gets Older

There are a few things that most women value in men and that is stability, security, maturity and confidence.  Young men do not have any of these qualities. For the most part when it comes to attracting women many younger men are ignored. All young men know, that their value to women will increase as they get older.  As they get a more stable job, start making more money, have a place to live and establish themselves more in life.

If these theories hold true from the man’s point of view, then he is better off waiting.  There is no need for a man to rush into marriage. If he waits until he is more stable and secure in his life, he will be able to attract a better partner.  Committing too soon to marriage will only limit his potential for finding the perfect partner.  Time is on the man’s side when it comes to marriage.

The only time a man will rush into marriage, is if he believes he has found the greatest woman in the entire world and he doesn’t want her to get away.  The great part is any woman can do this.  All she needs to do is show him, that perfect woman he has been waiting for is actually standing right in front of him.  There are specific cues, and ways of talking that will signal to him that the wait is over.  Now he just needs to get her down the aisle before anybody else.

For more ways to convince your boyfriend that you are the ONE go here ===> Get Your Boyfriend Wanting To Marry You

Sincerely,

Paul Wright

paulwrigth@decodingmen.com

P.S. If you liked this article, please take a minute to e-mail your
friends and let them know about it. Thanks!

P.P.S. If you would like to have a Question answered or would
just like to send a Comment, please:

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Dec
09

Why Men Are Afraid Of Marriage

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I hear this statement from women all the time.

Why are men so afraid of marriage? Why are all guys so scared of proposing to a woman they love? Why can’t I find a man that wants to get married?

The answer to this question is, men are not afraid of marriage. What men are scared of is marrying or committing to the wrong woman. There is not a single man alive that would not be willing to marry a beautiful model, who is intelligent, financially successful and has the heart of an angel.  In fact many of these commitmentphobes women talk about would jump on a opportunity like that faster then most other men.

It is not that these men are afraid of marriage, its just he might be afraid of marrying you.  That might sound mean, but you have to understand that the reason he is hesitant is because he has seen something within you that makes him a bit uneasy. Instead of jumping into marriage with you, he is holding off to make sure what he has seen doesn’t get any worst.

What you have to understand about men is we never to rarely ever think about the future when it comes to relationships.  The only time we get a glimpse of the future is when we see something we don’t like.  When we are just starting to date a woman, we call these moments “Red Flags” as they are meant to warn us about getting into a relationship with this person.  When a man is in a monogamous long term relationship with a woman, these future glimpses become even more powerful and scary.

The reason they become so powerful is because he knows who you are now, he knows how you act, he has seen you at your best when the relationship was all passion and fireworks, and he has seen you at your worst.  He has also seen you change as a person, he knows what you want in a relationship and what you expect out of a relationship.  He has a clear mental map of his life with you in it.

Then one day he may notice something that will change his calculation of how his life will be with you in the future. This could be a number of things, a prime example may be nagging.  In the beginning of the relationship you never nagged, you both got along so well.  Now you may nag him at least once a day.

Once he realizes this he will do a quick calculation in his head.  “If she presently nags me once a day, then that means 10 years from now, when we’re married she will nag me 10x more each day.”

This calculation can be used on anything in the relationship, ie: always upset, screaming, crying, never happy, depressed, over shopping, irresponsible behavior, etc.

There is also a similar calculation for moments when his needs are not being met.  For example “If we only make love once a month which is not enough, then that means in 10 years, we will be having sex once a year or less.”  He knows that if his needs are not being satisfied now, then he is definitely in for an unsatisfied life in the future if he gets married.

So what does he do? He slows the idea of marriage down.  He bides his time and waits to see how you will change before he will make any decision about marrying you.

Why doesn’t he talk to you about how he is feeling?  Every man knows saying “Sweetie, I love you, but you really do some things that make me question whether marriage is even a possibility with you.” is a one way ticket to the biggest and worst argument of his life.  Instead of having this inevitable blow up, he will wait and watch.

Is this the right way to do it? Probably not, but when a man who naturally doesn’t ever think about the future gets that shocking glimpse of a tragic and terrifying future it can be scary.  So you have to keep in mind, it is not the fact he is scared of marriage.  In fact he is not even scared of marrying you.  He is scarred of the future you that doesn’t even exist.  To get him to want to get married you need to learn how to show him what an amazing future he will have and how all his calculations are wrong.  To learn more go to ===> How To Get Your Boyfriend To Propose

Sincerely,

Paul Wright

paulwrigth@decodingmen.com

P.S. If you liked this article, please take a minute to e-mail your
friends and let them know about it. Thanks!

P.P.S. If you would like to have a Question answered or would
just like to send a Comment, please:

1) Tell us what’s working for you before you ask your question.
This helps other people to see what’s working, so please be
specific.

2) Be specific when you ask your question.

3) At the end of the email, give us your initials and tell us where
you’re from.