Why Men Marry

Despite popular belief, men do want to get married. Discover what men need in order to take the next step into marriage with a woman.

How To Get Him To Propose

Listen to men reveal secrets that most men never want women to ever hear about how to get their boyfriend to go down on one knee and propose marriage to them

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Archive for Why Won’t He Propose

Jul
28

Two Things That Can Stop A Proposal

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Recently I was reading an article about the Russel Brand/Katy Perry divorce. Before you decide to stop reading this article hear me out first. Russel finally decided to open up about the reasons why he decided to file for divorce from the famous pop singer. Apparently the former career partier, recovering drug addict, alcoholic and sex addict had finally reached a point in his life where he no longer wanted to party. Russel Brand finally wanted to settle down with the woman he loved.

Here are the problems that caused the divorce:

1) Settling Down

After years of drinking, drugs, sex and parties, Russel (36 years of age) had come to a point in his life where he realized there was more to life then a good night of hard partying. He wanted to focus on a relationship and start a family.

Katy Perry (27 years of age) however, has not lived the same life as the experienced Russel Brand. At this stage in her life she is very focused on her career and having a good time in the hollywood night life. An idea of having children and settling down were the furthest from her mind.

Now the reason why I tell you this is because when a man is ready to finally settle down, get married and have children he will look for a woman who is ready to settle down as well. If he sees that you are not ready then he will become hesitant to propose, because he won’t want to end up like Russel & Katy.

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Check this out for more reasons why a man might become nervous and tentative about proposing
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2) Two Different Places In Life

A similar problem is that fact that Russel Brand and Katy Perry were in to different places in their life. Brand had experienced everything he ever wanted from drugs, drinking, rampant sex and partying. He had reached a new stage in his life, where he wanted more then just a night of clubbing.

Perry being 9 years Brand’s junior, had not had a chance to live that life, which apparently is something she really wants to do. A relationship is very hard to live with when one partner wants one kind of life and the other wants something different. Obviously these sorts of things should be discussed before you ever think of marriage.

This might be the reason why a boyfriend could be uncertain about putting that ring on your ringer. Perhaps he still wants to party, but that is not something you want anymore or you could be very focused on your career and he wants to have children. There are a million different reasons why the both of you might be at different places in your life, but one thing is for certain until the both of you get on the same page a proposal is probably not in the cards.

What is the best thing to do?

Have an open discussion with him. There is no need to bring up marriage, this conversation should just be about where you both are in life.
* Ask him what he wants in life in the next year and what he wants in the next five years
– What does he want with his career
– where does he want to live
– what kind of lifestyle does he want to have

* Then let him know what you want
* After that all you have to do is compare each others answers and make sure that you are either on the same page or at the very least heading in the same direction. Discover the secrets you need to know on how to get your boyfriend to propose

Sincerely,

Paul Wright

Apr
29

Searching For Mom

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Men want to marry their moms.  I’m sure you have heard that phrase before.  However, the reasons why men want to marry their mothers and why women believe they do, differ greatly.  Many women believe the reason is because men want to be babied and pampered their whole lives. For some men this is definitely true. There are a number of mamaboys, who will always be suckling at his mother’s breast no matter how old he is.  These men are easy to spot, they are constantly calling their moms, always checking in and can’t make a single decision without consulting with her.  These men are to be avoided like the plague, as you will never replace or even come close to being the number one women in his life.

For all other men who have a regular normal relationship with their mom, they are not looking to be pampered or babied.  The reason why they are looking for a woman like their mom to marry is because a man wants a woman like his mom to raise his children.  You see, most men think they are a good person, and they believe their parents did a decent job raising them.  Which is why they are a decent human being.  Now as a man, a guy knows he will do the best job he can to raise his children.  However, the woman he is with is an unknown factor.  Therefore, to better ensure that his future children are taken care of, a man looks for similar characteristics between a woman he is with and his mom.

There are lots of women these days who express zero motherly characteristics. If you love to party all night, drink like a fish, and constantly goofing off with your friends, don’t be surprised when he doesn’t recognize you as the mother type.  I’m not saying you can’t have fun in life, but the reason he might not have proposed yet is because he can’t see the potential mother in you.  It might be time to show him.

What is the best way to do this? Get to know his mom, see what she is like and recognize the similarities between the both of you.  Start expressing those similarities for him to see.  Notice how I said similarities, you don’t need to change yourself.  You just need to express similar characteristics, characteristics that you already have, but have not been overly evident up to this point.

A prime example of this would be Kevin and his wife Stacey.  Kevin and Stacey first met when Kevin was 30 and Stacey was 25.  While neither one of them was really thinking of marriage, Kevin started growing tired of the fact that Stacey always wanted to party, drink and have a good time.  She never really thought of anything else.  She never took life to serious and didn’t ever think about life further then the next weekend.  Wanting to become more serious Kevin felt this just wasn’t the type of woman he could do that with.

They didn’t see each other for seven years, but when they finally met again Kevin realized Stacey had completely changed.  She was done with all the partying and as Kevin described her “She had become the type of woman he would want to have a family with”  After only six months of dating Kevin proposed marriage and they now have two beautiful healthy children together.  While its true they were in different places in their lives when they first met, according to Kevin it was the fact that once he realized she would be a good mother he wanted to get married.  Discover more reasons as to why your boyfriend might be holding back his marriage proposal.

Sincerely,

Paul Wright

There is one common complaint that I hear from many of my married friends.  I won’t lie, I have even experienced this myself in past relationship.  Nothing in this world can feel more frustrating then when one of the partners is not pulling their weight.  I know I have said this before and I will say it again, men are looking for a partner to marry.  However, if you are not working with him to better each others lives, then he sees you as working against him and he won’t be likely to marry you.

**Before I continue with this article and I receive tons of hate mail, let me just state that I know there are men out there that do not pull their weight in relationships.  This is not a website dedicated to helping change men.  If you want a man to marry you then he must be pulling his weight somehow.  This website is dedicated to explaining why men are hesitant to propose marriage.  One reason for this might be the fact that the woman he is with is not pulling her weight.

Examples

With that said, let me show you a few examples of what I mean.

Steve’s Marriage

Steve is struggling to make ends meet, but its not for a lack of trying.  Steve works, 16 hours a day 7 days a week constantly wheeling and dealing.  He has turned over every rock he can find in an effort to produce a better revenue for his family. The global recession has hit him hard.  He has talked with this wife about her getting a job, but she doesn’t want to work she just wants to stay home and take care of the kids.

That is fine, I think raising children is the most important job in the world.  The confusing part is when the children are at school from 9 am – 3 pm, she doesn’t raise a finger around the house.  She reads her people magazine and watches tv.  You have to understand when you work 16 hours a day, 7 days a week and you are barely making any money, the anxiety, frustration and fear builds inside a man.  All he needs and wants is just a bit of a helping hand.

Someone preferably his wife to come along and say “I can see how hard you are working, make sure you take a break sweetie.  I made you a sandwich for lunch.  Its important to eat to keep up your strength.  Don’t worry about anything around the house, I have taken care of it so you stay focused on working.”

Does Steve’s wife say this? No, because Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are breaking up for the 20th time in people.

Ryan’s Marriage

Ryan was a highly successful businessman. Crushing million dollar deals like it was nothing. He was doing so well, his wife didn’t have to work, and they had a nanny to take care of their child, cook and clean for them. With the recession times are tough and Ryan can no longer afford to keep the nanny.  Especially when his wife is not working and capable of doing everything the nanny did, at least until things get better.  This would make sense spouses help to make life easier for each other, for the benefit of the family.

Well, this is just not the case.  Ryan’s wife refuses to cook or clean and doesn’t understand why Ryan just doesn’t hire the nanny back.  Everyday his wife orders take out, which just ends up spending more money they can’t afford to spend.  This woman isn’t a wife she is a leech.  If it wasn’t for the child they have together Ryan would leave her and now he feels stuck because he didn’t realize what kind of person she really was.  How does this hurt women like you?  Ryan tells every single male he comes across to “Never Get Married!”  He shares every detail of his married experience and how it has destroyed his life.

So now you have a bunch of men running around in fear that they will end up in the same nightmare that Steve and Ryan are in.  Being in a position where they are having a hard time supporting their families which is a very hard thing for a man to accept. The worst part is the person who is supposed to love and honor you, won’t even lift a finger to help during your time of need.  They won’t even give their husband the help he needs to be able to take care of his family.

I guarantee, your current boyfriend has probably heard about this kind of nightmare from at least 10 other men in his life.  So this fear is swimming in the back of his subconscious mind.  What you need to do is show him, that you are capable and more then happy to pull your weight in your relationship.  Show him you do not shy away from doing what needs to be done to make his life easier.  Help make his food, when he is working lots and doesn’t have time to cook for himself.  Are there little small jobs that you can help him with for his business? If so, jump on them and get them done.

If you help to make his life easier, he won’t be able to live without you.  If you make his life harder, he’ll be more then happy to never propose. Learn more about how to get your boyfriend to propose and understand the subconscious of the male mind in regards to marriage.

Sincerely,

Paul Wright

I once heard a saying “Women marry when they are in love, Men marry when the time is right”

I think it is very simplified by for the most part its true.  I hear from women all the time saying that they love their boyfriends and their boyfriends say they love them in return, but there is no sign of a marriage proposal.  I have loved a few women, but love is not enough to get me to marry a woman.  In fact I have had ex-girlfriends try to trick me into proposing to them, but a man needs more then love to make him want to propose.  While there are a number of factors, there are two key ones I want to focus on of this article.

1) A man will usually hold off until the time is right.  Most men will not propose to a woman when they are down on their luck.  A man feels like if he can not provide for and protect the woman he loves then he shouldn’t get married.  Its just not the right time.  If a man can not handle or take care of his own life, how will he be able to take care of the woman he loves.  In fact, marriage is just a constant reminder how he is not good enough.

If you love this man, he treats you the way you deserve, and you want a future with him don’t give up on him.  All he needs is to be in a place where he feels like he can protect you and provide for you.  Telling him that, that doesn’t matter to you, will not resolve this problem.  The only way you can overcome this situation is by getting him on his feet and in a position in life where he feels like he can be that kind of man for you.  Saying “I support you no matter what” doesn’t mean anything with a man.  You need to roll up your sleeves and give him the physical support that he needs.

If he is lacking sales for his new company, get out there and get him some new clients.  If he is spending all his time working on tiny side jobs instead of focusing on growing his business, take over doing some of those smaller jobs.  He isn’t happy with his job, redo his resume and show it to him so he can see how you see him and how proud you are of his accomplishments.  Most guys undersell themselves on resumes especially when they are feeling down.  A great self esteem booster is when he sees how you truly see him.  Once he is feeling confident, throw down some jobs that would be perfect for him. He needs to go back to school, but isn’t sure how he can get by, if he reduces the number of hours at work while he goes to school.

This brings me to my second point of what a man needs to get married, its true the right time is essential, but I hope you can tell he also needs a partner in life.

2) A Life Partner.  Most men understand that love tends to fade, and during rough patches love tends to evaporate.  What a man needs to see is that the woman they are with will be a partner.  A man has a ingrained desire to provide for and protect his wife, will she give him the physical support he needs to be the man he needs to be.

A marriage is about two people coming together and moving through life as one.  If a woman is only focused on her life, her job, her appearance, her hobbies, etc.  Then he is going to feel a little reluctant to want to commit to marriage, because when a rough patch hits your lives will you give him the support he needs or will you leave him.  A woman saying “I support you no matter what honey” mean nothing to a man.  He needs to see the physical support to understand you are his life partner.  To learn more about how you can show him you are the one.

Sincerely,

Paul Wright

Dec
19

No Fun; No Proposal

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I once dated a girl who was all about achieving.  She had been a top of her class student all the way, and had immense career prospects.  She was involved in a number of causes and community groups and was clearly going to change the world.  I, on the other hand, was an adequate achiever with modest goals and a slightly different outlook.  I wanted to do well at what I did and make a good living, but I didn’t feel the same sense of drive.  In fact, sometimes I liked to goof off.  I would look at work that needed to be done and the brilliant sun outside, shrug, and reason that while the work would be there tomorrow, this perfect day might not be.  She couldn’t agree sadly, and it was one of the reasons we parted ways.
One other factor was that sometimes I’m silly.  I get on well with children and am completely at home reading my niece stories, with funny voices and all.  I’ll get down on the floor and play dolls with her, and while her Cindy doll might make some cynical conversation (that goes right over my nieces head thankfully) I will give myself to it with abandon because it’s fun to do that.  I don’t even need children around for it.  But some women find that disconcerting.  It’s a little juvenile to want to stop in the toy aisle of the department store when you don’t have kids, and even more so to set up the army action figures in the dolls house for a tea party, but here’s a newsflash: a lot of guys actually like being a little juvenile and irresponsible sometimes.  Unfortunately, some women will disapprove, and make it known.
My message to them is, lighten up!  There will always be people who don’t have a crazy and reckless streak, but I think they are the exception, not the norm.  Most people I know like to blow off a little steam once in a while and I think it’s vital that for a guy to be considering sharing his life with some, he factors that in.  If the woman he is considering marrying can’t accept him being a little crazy every once in a while, then it is going to become a strain.  If he has to bottle up his childish instincts because his fiancé will scowl when he dashes through a neighbor’s sprinkler on their evening walk, he is not going to be a very relaxed guy eventually.  If any silliness – which lets off steam – is frowned upon, he’ll start to suffer stress because that is what a little childishness combats.
Instead I would say cultivate a little frivolity yourself.  It doesn’t mean you have to be immature or puerile all the time; just allow yourself to play sometimes.  When we laugh we feel good about ourselves and those we are laughing with.  It will draw you closer together to be able to have some fun, and you will become a part of the stress relief he probably needs from time to time.  If you can initiate it sometimes it will tell him that you are a good person to have around.
So pay attention to how your guy plays sometimes.  Take note of how his silliness emerges; is it dumb movies, goofing off with friends or being a little mischievous?  If he’s into practical jokes, get a feel for what the boundaries are and join him in it – maybe participating in one of his before trying your own.  Whatever you do, lighten up and have some fun with your guy, and he will want to experience more things in this world with you.  Discover the secrets to make your man to pop the question.

Sincerely,

Dan Kelly

Oct
31

Extravagant Proposals

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“When my boyfriend proposes, I want it to be somewhere special, like Paris or on top of the Empire State building.”  “I want my man to do something exciting and surprising when he proposes, like having a skydiver deliver the ring!”  “I hope my partner hires Brad Pitt to propose on his behalf…”  Okay, so maybe those ideas are a little far-fetched, but what woman doesn’t have an idea of how she wants the question to be popped?  It may be as vague as ‘something romantic’ or it may be detailed right down to the music she wants playing, but most girls have some sort of scenario in the back of their minds.  However, it is going to be a very big ask to have a guy meet those expectations if he doesn’t know what they are, and if she won’t help him.
Most girls play these fantasies out in their minds but don’t let on that this is what they hope and dream of.  It is a recipe for disappointment to want something but not communicate it to the one person who is supposed to provide it!  The second most important element is making it possible.  Once you have set aside fairytale ideas (sorry girls, I don’t think Brad Pitt does private gigs) you are left with some more or less realistic plans.  The idea then is to make them as workable as possible.  If you want to be whisked away somewhere romantic and exotic, make sure you have a current passport and a few free weekends.  If you want to do something exciting, make sure you are up for scuba diving or bungy jumping!  If you want to commit to a life together under the shadow of the Statue of Liberty, make yourself available for a trip to New York.  If you are scared of heights or unwilling to fly or too busy to get away for a few days, it is unfair to expect your guy to go to great lengths to fulfill your fantasy because quite simply, he can’t. By imagining scenarios you make too hard to play out you are conspiring against him!  Similarly, make sure he is able to cooperate.  If he can’t swim, a snorkeling adventure will be out, and if he is on call an overnight getaway may be impossible just now.
The proposal is just the start of the marriage journey, but if you want it to begin the right way, make sure you have let him know what that will look like and give him plenty of opportunities to get it right. Learn the secrets to get your boyfriend to pop the question.

Sincerely,

Dan Kelly

Oct
11

Why Don’t Men Want To Get Married?

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Here is a comment I received from a man who read my article Why Men Hold Off Getting Married.  Here is what he had to say about marriage:

Mark

Sorry, but men wouldn’t get married if society accepted long term cohabitation. Society pressures men into marriage. They do it for women, because men are biologically programmed to do whatever is necessary to mate.

What semi-intelligent man would enter into a contractual arrangement these days, knowing that over half of marriages end in divorce? Not to mention that women initiate divorce nearly 70% of the time, with the majority being ‘no fault’ divorces.

Men want to cohabitate, sans the financial and emotional devastation. A long-term relationship is identical to marriage. One has requires an expensive ring, ceremony and divorce court attorney, while the other requires only love and commitment. Guess which one this man is choosing?

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I’m actually really happy Mark decided to leave his comment, because he is voicing a very common opinion amongst men.  The benefits to getting married for a man are growing shorter each passing year.  Mark is also correct with his statistics, 50% of marriages will end in divorce and 70% of those marriages are initiated by women.

I have to admit, I was a little shocked when I learned that 70% of divorces were initiated by women.  When I read this my first thought was adultery or perhaps there were a lot of abusive husbands , but this isn’t the case at all.  70% of divorces initiated by women are due to “no fault,” meaning there has been no wrong doing by either party to break the marital contract.

Mark, also brings up a good point, that women expect a man to buy them an expensive ring (at least 3 months salary), and finance a wedding ceremony (minimum $10,000 for a cheap wedding) to prove their love.  Men on the other hand only ask for loyalty and commitment, when they walk down the aisle.  Don’t try to use the argument that the wedding is for the man as well.  We all know the wedding is for the woman and this is coming from a man who believes in marriage.

Don’t forget that a woman is also entitled to 50% of the man’s income after a divorce.  Independent upon the length of the marriage and/or whether or not the wealth was generated before or after the marriage.  Alimony was meant as a way to protect a housewife who had spent her time supporting her husband.  Since she was not working, but was supporting her husband in his endeavors his income was her income.  Therefore upon a divorce, half of his salary would have to go to support his ex-wife as this is what she has earned. I am in full belief of this principle.

However, with most women in the workforce today, this tends not to be the case anymore.  Yet, men continue to be fearful of getting married and losing half of their wealth to a woman that never helped them achieve it.  Hence the over usage of the prenuptial agreement.

The conclusion that many men are coming too is to just not get married.  Do you understand now why it is so hard to convince some men to get married?  Do you see why it is important to learn a man’s point of view on marriage, so you can understand what you need to do to convince a man to want to get married.  Stop trying to force men into wanting to get married. Instead learn what you need to do to combat these negative perceptions about marriage, so your boyfriend will want to propose.

Sincerely,

Paul Wright

Aug
30

Careers Can Stall A Proposal

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I know it may seem hard to believe, but it is a very real truth.  If a man does not have a stable career, he will actually postpone his marriage proposal.  What you have to understand about men is they have no major worries in life before they get married.  They pay rent, buy food and have some extra money for entertainment and a guy is good.  Its a pretty worry free life.

Once a man gets married, everything in his life changes.  This is the moment when he begins to worry.  Making enough money to pay rent and drink beer with his friends is not enough. He is now responsible for  the both of you and it doesn’t matter if you work as well, because he is only thinking about what he can contribute.  Men never assume they will be sharing your money.  Don’t forget that once you are married, it won’t be long before children arrive.  So add in another two or three worries.  If he can barely take care of himself, having to take of a family will be an impossible feat for him.

This man is going from living a carefree life to suddenly being responsible for the lives of an entire family.  If a man does not have a solid career, it will make him feel extremely uneasy about taking on that kind of responsibility.  He won’t feel ready for it and will therefore try to avoid any discussions of it. Any talk of marriage will register as a direct attack on his manhood.  You see, a real man is capable of raising, protecting and supporting their family, something he at this time is not capable of doing.  Bringing up marriage just brings up the idea, in his mind that he is not a man. His only defense is to avoid any talk of marriage and if talks continue, then to become extremely upset and pull away.  Very few men will ever admit that they don’t feel man enough to get married.

Of course, many women say “But he has a stable career!”  Well, his career may be stable, but that doesn’t mean he is happy in it.  I know lots of guys who have jobs that just pay the bills, but everyday is an up at dawn pride swallowing siege.  Since they don’t have any responsibilities they can leave this job at any time and hopefully find something better.  It is this idea that keeps them going.  However, if they were to get married, this terrible job that they hate, would likely become a permanent position.  One they would be forced to stay in.

Instead of pressuring him for a proposal, try asking him about his job.  Is he happy in it? How does he feel about his job security? Is this what he wants to do or is there another field he would like to go into?  Listen to him, find out what he wants and then help him get it.  I mean sit down with him, tell him how much faith you have in him and help him to organize himself to get the type of job he wants.  Try to find those types of opportunities, help him apply or get the training so he can apply. A man would be hard pressed not to marry the woman who got him to where he is.  On the other hand, no man will ever marry a demanding woman, who cares little about his stress and only wants to get married.

This is just one of many obstacles you will have to overcome in getting your boyfriend to propose.  If you don’t handle them the right way, he won’t even think of popping the question.  Instead you need to learn how a man’s mind works, in order to get him to want to marry you

Sincerely,

Paul Wright

 

 

 

Jul
29

Stress The Secret Relationship Killer

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One of the biggest reasons a guy might not propose is because of all the stress in his life.  Stress is a silent killer that slowly eats away at the growth of a relationship.  When your boyfriend spends more time worrying about his stress (wherever it may come from) and less time about you then this can definitely halt any plans for a proposal.  The problem is a proposal is the last thing on his mind because he is constantly thinking about his problems.

What can you do to reduce the stress so he will realize that you are a woman he should spend the rest of his life with:

1) Affection is one of the best stress reduces.  This is a very hard job, so only do it if you know you are up for the task. Different forms of affection that can reduce stress:

  • Hugs – make sure you give your man a hug each morning before you leave for work and each evening you see each other after work.
  • Pet Name – give your man a pet name that only you call him in private.  Once he hears you call him that name, he will know he is in a safe place
  • Kisses – Give your partner soft gentle kisses, just to let him know that you are close at hand
  • Massage – Nothing reduces the stress and tension in a man’s body like receiving a massage from their partner

Its these affectionate moments that will remind him that no matter how much stress he has in his life, there is always a safe place where he can forget all about his stress.

2) Sit down with your man and talk about a way to work through the stressor is possible. Don’t overwhelm him, just let him know you want to help.  Once you have come up with a plan, put it into action and help him execute it.  Remember talk is cheap, but when he actually sees you helping him to get rid of his stress, it can only draw him closer to you. The point of this experience is to show him that not only do you love him and support him, but when push comes to shove you will help him through those tough times.  That he can count on you to be there for him.  He will realize that he needs you in his life.  Show him with your actions how much you care.  Discover the different factors that can stop him from realizing you are the one

Sincerely,

Paul Wright

My boyfriend feels uncomfortable talking about getting married, he feels pressured when I bring it up. This I understand, however he brings up little things all the time that indicate he wants to get married, he knows my feelings on it, that I want to wait until I finish school to actually have the wedding but I want a long engagement so there is a little less stress in planing. My question is what is he waiting for, we have been friends for years and now dating for a few, my family loves him and his loves me. We are perfect for each other and talk about buying a house, why is marriage so daunting, and why the wait?

He’s about to be 25 I’m going to be 23 a few days after, we have been together for 2 years known each other for 6+ years he is working and done with school I will be done in about two years

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Dan’s Thoughts

There are a whole host of reasons why guys seem to avoid the big M, and without knowing more it is hard to guess what his may be.  From what you have said, I suspect there may be some basic failures in communication.  You both want the same thing and sound pretty solidly compatible, and have moved past the more tumultuous early stages of any relationship.  Maybe he misunderstands your hesitancy, and perhaps you don’t realize his reasons for not proposing.  I’m guessing the long engagement doesn’t mesh with him for some reason, so he is waiting until you are actually prepared to get married before he asks.  It could be that he doesn’t want to risk the engagement becoming perpetual, so wants to keep it short and sweet.  It’s possible even that your ‘yes-but-not-yet’ stance leaves him feeling a little less secure about the relationship – wondering what else might be putting you off.  I suggest you jump on the next hint he drops and ask what it is exactly that he wants, then see if you can’t reconcile the two sets of expectations into a happy compromise.

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Paul’s Thoughts

There are a number of reasons why your boyfriend might be hesitant to pop the question. Two of the more probable reasons could be:

1) Research has shown that young men between 19-27 tend to need a few things before they get married (there are exceptions).

* They need to be out of school. Their education has to be finished and done with.

* Working in a job for at least a couple of years.  This allows a man to feel more secure and comfortable with his career, plus it allows him to save some money which he can put toward his future.

* Have an opportunity to sow his wild oats.  This allows him a chance to get into the dating world and see that the dating world is tough and there really is a limited supply of quality women in this world.  When you find that quality woman, he needs to snap her up as quickly as possible

If a young man doesn’t work his way through these steps, then it can take years for a young man to propose.  Instead of talking to your boyfriend about marriage, try talking to him about his life.  Does he like his job? Does he feel comfortable with how his career is going?  Is he struggling with finances?  Does he miss going out with his friends to the bars? The point is to try asking him about his life, to see if he has worked through these stages and how happy he is.

2) The second problem I see is that the proposal is all about you.  Don’t get me wrong I can see why you would want a proposal.  A proposal now, would make you feel more secure in your relationship, you would know that the relationship is not just sitting still but actually moving forward, plus you get a really nice ring that you can now show off to all your girlfriends. To top it all off, you really don’t have to do anything different in the relationship, because you don’t want to get married until after you finish school. This means no stress or change in your life. A proposal now is perfect for you.

In your email, you didn’t once consider if a proposal now would be right for him.  In fact, you didn’t consider him at all.  Can he afford a ring right now?  Does he want a long engagement?  What is the point of him proposing to you now?

He has to spend $10,000 – $20,000 on a ring, to then wait two years for you to finish school.  At which point things may change and the both of you may not even be together.  Not only does he lose out on you, but he has lost a lot of money he might not even be able to afford to spend. Why? Proposing now won’t change his life for the better.  Your relationship will stay the same and he is probably very happy with the way the relationship is now and he didn’t have to spend any money to make it that way.

Not just that, but the proposal is all about you and your time line.  What about him and his time line?  Chances are if you don’t want to get married now and have expressed this fact to him, then he really doesn’t feel a need to propose right now.  He is better off waiting till you finish school before he proposes, at least then he knows that you will really want to get married. Then you can both move your relationship forward together. This is just a few of the many reasons that would hold him back from proposing.  Just go here to learn more and discover the secret on how to get your boyfriend to propose.

Sincerely,

Paul Wright

paulwright@decodingmen.com

 

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