Archive for How To Get Him To Propose
Men want to marry their moms. I’m sure you have heard that phrase before. However, the reasons why men want to marry their mothers and why women believe they do, differ greatly. Many women believe the reason is because men want to be babied and pampered their whole lives. For some men this is definitely true. There are a number of mamaboys, who will always be suckling at his mother’s breast no matter how old he is. These men are easy to spot, they are constantly calling their moms, always checking in and can’t make a single decision without consulting with her. These men are to be avoided like the plague, as you will never replace or even come close to being the number one women in his life.
For all other men who have a regular normal relationship with their mom, they are not looking to be pampered or babied. The reason why they are looking for a woman like their mom to marry is because a man wants a woman like his mom to raise his children. You see, most men think they are a good person, and they believe their parents did a decent job raising them. Which is why they are a decent human being. Now as a man, a guy knows he will do the best job he can to raise his children. However, the woman he is with is an unknown factor. Therefore, to better ensure that his future children are taken care of, a man looks for similar characteristics between a woman he is with and his mom.
There are lots of women these days who express zero motherly characteristics. If you love to party all night, drink like a fish, and constantly goofing off with your friends, don’t be surprised when he doesn’t recognize you as the mother type. I’m not saying you can’t have fun in life, but the reason he might not have proposed yet is because he can’t see the potential mother in you. It might be time to show him.
What is the best way to do this? Get to know his mom, see what she is like and recognize the similarities between the both of you. Start expressing those similarities for him to see. Notice how I said similarities, you don’t need to change yourself. You just need to express similar characteristics, characteristics that you already have, but have not been overly evident up to this point.
A prime example of this would be Kevin and his wife Stacey. Kevin and Stacey first met when Kevin was 30 and Stacey was 25. While neither one of them was really thinking of marriage, Kevin started growing tired of the fact that Stacey always wanted to party, drink and have a good time. She never really thought of anything else. She never took life to serious and didn’t ever think about life further then the next weekend. Wanting to become more serious Kevin felt this just wasn’t the type of woman he could do that with.
They didn’t see each other for seven years, but when they finally met again Kevin realized Stacey had completely changed. She was done with all the partying and as Kevin described her “She had become the type of woman he would want to have a family with” After only six months of dating Kevin proposed marriage and they now have two beautiful healthy children together. While its true they were in different places in their lives when they first met, according to Kevin it was the fact that once he realized she would be a good mother he wanted to get married. Discover more reasons as to why your boyfriend might be holding back his marriage proposal.
I once dated a girl who was all about achieving. She had been a top of her class student all the way, and had immense career prospects. She was involved in a number of causes and community groups and was clearly going to change the world. I, on the other hand, was an adequate achiever with modest goals and a slightly different outlook. I wanted to do well at what I did and make a good living, but I didn’t feel the same sense of drive. In fact, sometimes I liked to goof off. I would look at work that needed to be done and the brilliant sun outside, shrug, and reason that while the work would be there tomorrow, this perfect day might not be. She couldn’t agree sadly, and it was one of the reasons we parted ways.
One other factor was that sometimes I’m silly. I get on well with children and am completely at home reading my niece stories, with funny voices and all. I’ll get down on the floor and play dolls with her, and while her Cindy doll might make some cynical conversation (that goes right over my nieces head thankfully) I will give myself to it with abandon because it’s fun to do that. I don’t even need children around for it. But some women find that disconcerting. It’s a little juvenile to want to stop in the toy aisle of the department store when you don’t have kids, and even more so to set up the army action figures in the dolls house for a tea party, but here’s a newsflash: a lot of guys actually like being a little juvenile and irresponsible sometimes. Unfortunately, some women will disapprove, and make it known.
My message to them is, lighten up! There will always be people who don’t have a crazy and reckless streak, but I think they are the exception, not the norm. Most people I know like to blow off a little steam once in a while and I think it’s vital that for a guy to be considering sharing his life with some, he factors that in. If the woman he is considering marrying can’t accept him being a little crazy every once in a while, then it is going to become a strain. If he has to bottle up his childish instincts because his fiancé will scowl when he dashes through a neighbor’s sprinkler on their evening walk, he is not going to be a very relaxed guy eventually. If any silliness – which lets off steam – is frowned upon, he’ll start to suffer stress because that is what a little childishness combats.
Instead I would say cultivate a little frivolity yourself. It doesn’t mean you have to be immature or puerile all the time; just allow yourself to play sometimes. When we laugh we feel good about ourselves and those we are laughing with. It will draw you closer together to be able to have some fun, and you will become a part of the stress relief he probably needs from time to time. If you can initiate it sometimes it will tell him that you are a good person to have around.
So pay attention to how your guy plays sometimes. Take note of how his silliness emerges; is it dumb movies, goofing off with friends or being a little mischievous? If he’s into practical jokes, get a feel for what the boundaries are and join him in it – maybe participating in one of his before trying your own. Whatever you do, lighten up and have some fun with your guy, and he will want to experience more things in this world with you. Discover the secrets to make your man to pop the question.
I was reading an article the other day where a woman advised women everywhere that the way to get men to commit to them was to be a bitch. I have to say that in my experience, no guy wants to marry that kind of woman. In fact, that usually kills a relationship rather than deepens it. However as I reflected on her writing I had to give her some credit – there was some truth in some of her less extreme assertions. I think I can meet her halfway; if you want to do more than amuse a guy for a while, at least be someone of substance.
That means you need to have a sense of yourself that isn’t dependent on him, or anyone else, and that you need to be willing to stand up on your own. When you start dating someone, it is only natural that you want to make a good impression. Unfortunately, too many women think that means making themselves into the model of everything he thinks he wants. He likes art? She becomes Ms. Postmodern Art Critic. He likes clubs? She becomes Miss Rave-All-Night. The problem is, after not too much of this, he will notice. He’ll start wondering how genuine she is, or at worst, how far he can push this super-compliant personality. A little later in the relationship boredom will set in and he will be making excuses for distancing himself.
However, if you know what you like and want, and aren’t looking to him to dictate it to you, there will be something about you that will keep his interest. He will find there is a you to discover for himself, and the contrasts between you will sharpen his attraction. This doesn’t mean you can’t make efforts to take an interest in what he likes or wants, it just means you don’t reshape your personality around his. On the other side, you don’t have to be harsh about it either. Being yourself doesn’t require you to shoot him or anyone else down in flames. Quiet strength is the best kind. Simply know that the best way to impress someone isn’t by molding yourself in their image but by being confident of your own.
So don’t think guys want to marry a ‘bitch.’ They don’t. But if they meet a confident girl who knows her own mind and isn’t afraid to make it known, they will make sure she doesn’t get away. Discover more ways to show him you are the woman he has to marry
“When my boyfriend proposes, I want it to be somewhere special, like Paris or on top of the Empire State building.” “I want my man to do something exciting and surprising when he proposes, like having a skydiver deliver the ring!” “I hope my partner hires Brad Pitt to propose on his behalf…” Okay, so maybe those ideas are a little far-fetched, but what woman doesn’t have an idea of how she wants the question to be popped? It may be as vague as ‘something romantic’ or it may be detailed right down to the music she wants playing, but most girls have some sort of scenario in the back of their minds. However, it is going to be a very big ask to have a guy meet those expectations if he doesn’t know what they are, and if she won’t help him.
Most girls play these fantasies out in their minds but don’t let on that this is what they hope and dream of. It is a recipe for disappointment to want something but not communicate it to the one person who is supposed to provide it! The second most important element is making it possible. Once you have set aside fairytale ideas (sorry girls, I don’t think Brad Pitt does private gigs) you are left with some more or less realistic plans. The idea then is to make them as workable as possible. If you want to be whisked away somewhere romantic and exotic, make sure you have a current passport and a few free weekends. If you want to do something exciting, make sure you are up for scuba diving or bungy jumping! If you want to commit to a life together under the shadow of the Statue of Liberty, make yourself available for a trip to New York. If you are scared of heights or unwilling to fly or too busy to get away for a few days, it is unfair to expect your guy to go to great lengths to fulfill your fantasy because quite simply, he can’t. By imagining scenarios you make too hard to play out you are conspiring against him! Similarly, make sure he is able to cooperate. If he can’t swim, a snorkeling adventure will be out, and if he is on call an overnight getaway may be impossible just now.
The proposal is just the start of the marriage journey, but if you want it to begin the right way, make sure you have let him know what that will look like and give him plenty of opportunities to get it right. Learn the secrets to get your boyfriend to pop the question.
I know that marriage is supposed to be about falling in love and wanting to spend the rest of your life with the person you love. Therefore, if your boyfriend loves you he should automatically want to marry you. Well I’m here to tell you, love is only one of the reasons why men get married.
One of the big reasons why men marry is because the person they are with is an amazing partner. Let’s look at some of the things that make up a good life partner for a man:
- A partner is someone that works with them to create a life. A future that they both can enjoy and look forward to living each and every day. Not just someone who is pretty and believes they are special. There are lots of beautiful women in this world and everybody is special because we are all unique. At least that is what they taught us in elementary school.
- Someone who supports him no matter what. Its easy to find a person who is willing to support someone during the good times. Ask yourself, you would be willing to stay and support him, If he lost his job, had no income and was completely bankrupt? Would you be willing to support him both financially and emotionally?
- Are you a calming, relaxing and loving environment to be around? Work is a constant source of stress, so coming home to you is supposed to be a calm environment where he can re-energize for the next day. If you are a constant emotional roller coaster, that is a complete drain on him, there is a large chance he will not marry you.
- Do you help to make his life easier? Do you give him the support and helping hand he needs to achieve his goals? This does not mean he should not help and support you, but you need to look at whether you really give him the helping hand he needs. The simplest way to do this is to look at whether his life is easier with you in it or if it is easier for him to be single. Would he have more money in his account without you? Would he have more time to focus on his business, hobbies or the things he really enjoys? Would he be less stressed?
These are just a few of the factors that make up a good partner and will influence him to look at marriage more seriously. There is one thing I continuously hear in every speech a successful man gives and that is “I would not be where I am, if it was not for my loving wife.” Love didn’t help to get the man to where he is. It was the fact that his loving wife was an amazing partner who helped support him in doing what he needed to do to succeed. She was that extra helping hand that he needed. She was the partner in life, that he had been looking for.
Partnership is something every man looks for and needs in a marriage. Learn how to talk to your boyfriend about getting married
I know it may seem hard to believe, but it is a very real truth. If a man does not have a stable career, he will actually postpone his marriage proposal. What you have to understand about men is they have no major worries in life before they get married. They pay rent, buy food and have some extra money for entertainment and a guy is good. Its a pretty worry free life.
Once a man gets married, everything in his life changes. This is the moment when he begins to worry. Making enough money to pay rent and drink beer with his friends is not enough. He is now responsible for the both of you and it doesn’t matter if you work as well, because he is only thinking about what he can contribute. Men never assume they will be sharing your money. Don’t forget that once you are married, it won’t be long before children arrive. So add in another two or three worries. If he can barely take care of himself, having to take of a family will be an impossible feat for him.
This man is going from living a carefree life to suddenly being responsible for the lives of an entire family. If a man does not have a solid career, it will make him feel extremely uneasy about taking on that kind of responsibility. He won’t feel ready for it and will therefore try to avoid any discussions of it. Any talk of marriage will register as a direct attack on his manhood. You see, a real man is capable of raising, protecting and supporting their family, something he at this time is not capable of doing. Bringing up marriage just brings up the idea, in his mind that he is not a man. His only defense is to avoid any talk of marriage and if talks continue, then to become extremely upset and pull away. Very few men will ever admit that they don’t feel man enough to get married.
Of course, many women say “But he has a stable career!” Well, his career may be stable, but that doesn’t mean he is happy in it. I know lots of guys who have jobs that just pay the bills, but everyday is an up at dawn pride swallowing siege. Since they don’t have any responsibilities they can leave this job at any time and hopefully find something better. It is this idea that keeps them going. However, if they were to get married, this terrible job that they hate, would likely become a permanent position. One they would be forced to stay in.
Instead of pressuring him for a proposal, try asking him about his job. Is he happy in it? How does he feel about his job security? Is this what he wants to do or is there another field he would like to go into? Listen to him, find out what he wants and then help him get it. I mean sit down with him, tell him how much faith you have in him and help him to organize himself to get the type of job he wants. Try to find those types of opportunities, help him apply or get the training so he can apply. A man would be hard pressed not to marry the woman who got him to where he is. On the other hand, no man will ever marry a demanding woman, who cares little about his stress and only wants to get married.
This is just one of many obstacles you will have to overcome in getting your boyfriend to propose. If you don’t handle them the right way, he won’t even think of popping the question. Instead you need to learn how a man’s mind works, in order to get him to want to marry you
One of the biggest reasons a guy might not propose is because of all the stress in his life. Stress is a silent killer that slowly eats away at the growth of a relationship. When your boyfriend spends more time worrying about his stress (wherever it may come from) and less time about you then this can definitely halt any plans for a proposal. The problem is a proposal is the last thing on his mind because he is constantly thinking about his problems.
What can you do to reduce the stress so he will realize that you are a woman he should spend the rest of his life with:
1) Affection is one of the best stress reduces. This is a very hard job, so only do it if you know you are up for the task. Different forms of affection that can reduce stress:
- Hugs – make sure you give your man a hug each morning before you leave for work and each evening you see each other after work.
- Pet Name – give your man a pet name that only you call him in private. Once he hears you call him that name, he will know he is in a safe place
- Kisses – Give your partner soft gentle kisses, just to let him know that you are close at hand
- Massage – Nothing reduces the stress and tension in a man’s body like receiving a massage from their partner
Its these affectionate moments that will remind him that no matter how much stress he has in his life, there is always a safe place where he can forget all about his stress.
2) Sit down with your man and talk about a way to work through the stressor is possible. Don’t overwhelm him, just let him know you want to help. Once you have come up with a plan, put it into action and help him execute it. Remember talk is cheap, but when he actually sees you helping him to get rid of his stress, it can only draw him closer to you. The point of this experience is to show him that not only do you love him and support him, but when push comes to shove you will help him through those tough times. That he can count on you to be there for him. He will realize that he needs you in his life. Show him with your actions how much you care. Discover the different factors that can stop him from realizing you are the one
I know and understand that having a dream wedding is important for every woman. Making sure that your wedding is memorable and special is crucial for that little girl inside a woman. Feeling like she is a princess for one day is a dream come true.
I must admit I love watching wedding shows on tv. I like seeing that magical moment created from beginning to end. There is one thing I see in these wedding shows and that is the wedding is all about the woman. It seems that nobody really cares if the groom even shows up.
These brides want red carpets, horse drawn carriages, massive rings, giant flower arrangements, massive banquet halls, and then things get strange with circus performers or stunt acts. I could write an entire book on the crazy things some women come up with for weddings to make them unique.
What these brides are forgetting is that a wedding is supposed to be the public declaration of love between two people. To let all friends and family know that they are committed to each other “until death do us part.” It is also a time to let your partner know that despite all the people in the world, that you choose them. To make your partner feel your love and to show your love in front of everybody. To scream your love to the world.
Do you understand why a man would become hesitant about getting married as the price rises and things become more and more extravagant? Of course, If a man loves you he wants to make the wedding day special for the woman he is marrying. At the same time the groom wants he to feel loved and special on his wedding day as well.
A guy doesn’t need the giant ten foot cake, the $50,000 banquet hall, or a horse drawn carriage to feel special. To feel special a man needs to have your love and attention on his wedding while being surrounded by friends and family.
When you are thinking about, talking about and/or planning your wedding with your boyfriend always remember to ask yourself is this about making you (as the bride) feel special or for the both of you to feel special. If all your focus is on you and making you feel special, don’t be surprised when your boyfriend begins to get cold feet. Planning your wedding is a huge decision and if you are going to be selfish in this decision, its probably just a sign of things to come. No man wants to be with a selfish woman. If he thinks that you will be selfish in every major decision the both of you will have to make together, then chances are good it will scare him off the idea of getting married. For your wedding focus on expressing your love for him and not just seeing what you can do to make you feel more special. This is key to getting your boyfriend to be excited about getting married.
I don’t know how many guys I know who used to be golfers, or drive motorsports, or enjoy fishing or weekly poker games. What I know is that there is a distinct theme amongst them – somehow they have drifted away from something they loved doing. Oftentimes that also means drifting apart from friends and circles of support and encouragement too.
It is a cliché – and an unfair one at that – to suggest that women drag men away from their favorite pastimes. However, it is true that once a relationship begins to develop, things change as priorities get rearranged. This goes for both parties, as men and women begin to rank time spent together above those things they traditionally did. However, sometimes one party can influence the other to a greater extent and soon the concessions begin to be one sided.
If this is the case in a dating relationship, it just makes sense that it will only continue and possibly amplify in a marriage. What that means is that if a guy is feeling pressured to start giving things up, or if he is noticing some absences that are beginning to bother him, he may well put the brakes on further relationship developments while he decides whether he can live with the changes – and the direction they are taking.
What a woman in these circumstances needs to do is communicate her awareness of the changes going on and make sure that she is sensitive to how they are affecting him. If he knows that she cares, and is not deliberately trying to divorce him from old friends, he will feel less concerned and it won’t become a conflict of interests. In fact, it may help him clarify his own priorities in terms of the relationship and cement his commitment. Certainly the communication and a willingness to compromise will only benefit the relationship.
So ask when he last met up with the guys or has had a chance to get back to his old hobby. And see if he wants to go next week. He may not want to, or may jump at the chance, but either way you are dramatically improving the odds that he will want to spend more time around you, too.Learn what you can do to get your boyfriend to start thinking about marriage with you
Men can become very hesitant when it comes to marriage because of certain marriage nightmares that keep them awake at night. While we may not experience these nightmares personally, this does not stop us from seeing these nightmares first hand with friends, family members and even on tv. I have decided to release these nightmares that swim around deep down in a man’s subconscious mind that can prevent him from proposing marriage.
The first thing you must understand about men is that a Man loves a woman for who they are now. If a man is with you then he really does like you for who you are, inside and out. Exactly how you are! While you may see flaws all over your body, he sees perfection. With that said men are constantly afraid of what their partner might turn into, especially when that ring is put on her finger.
As people get older we change and grow, but some people transform into a completely different person all together. Sometimes it can be for the better, other times it is for the worst. Its the fear a woman may turn into a complete nightmare that scares men. A prime example of a marriage nightmare is Kate Gosselin from the tv show Jon and Kate plus eight. While I am not saying Jon is completely innocent within the relationship, Kate’s behavior towards Jon is some of the worst I have ever seen.
Kate would yell, scream, nag and continuously treat Jon like a child. In fact by the end of the show, I don’t think I ever saw her talk to him in a civil manner. There was even one moment when it was just the two of them talking to the camera and Kate spazzes at Jon for breathing. How a person can get upset over someone else breathing is beyond me, but she did.
Kate showed him little to no respect and emasculated him continuously. Then Kate is shocked when Jon filed for divorce. I’m sure when Kate and Jon were dating she was a very nice sweet woman, but eventually over time with 8 children, stress from work and life in general she slowly turned into a nagging, annoying, whining, crying, hag! Everything a man fears a woman will turn into when he marries her.
This isn’t an isolated incident, as stated on MSN.com “It takes a certain kind of charmer to get fired off a show before it even begins, and that’s just what happened to Kate Gosselin (aka the most obnoxious woman on television). Tapped as a potential co-host for a “View” style talk show called “Momlogic,” Gosselin alienated the producers with her unpleasant public behavior (including her split from husband Jon) and got axed in the process. Sadly, this setback didn’t keep her off TV: we had to endure her on “Dancing with the Stars” (where she allegedly pushed to have her pro partner fired, despite the fact that he carried her dead weight through each weekly routine).”
As I said before, everybody changes with time, but since a man loves you for who you are now, he truly hopes that you will still somewhat resemble the person he fell in love with 40 years from now. This is one of the reasons guys like to date for longer periods of time, because we want to see how much you will change personality wise over a few years. If a bad change is significant then that means you have the potential to become a Kate. I know that marriage should be about loving that person, but no man in his right mind wants to end up with a Kate. If you want to get married to your boyfriend you have to put his mind at ease that you will never ever become a Kate. Learn the steps you need to know to Get Your Boyfriend To Marry You