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May
06

Are You Encouraging A Proposal?

By

I don’t know how many guys I know who used to be golfers, or drive motorsports, or enjoy fishing or weekly poker games.  What I know is that there is a distinct theme amongst them – somehow they have drifted away from something they loved doing.  Oftentimes that also means drifting apart from friends and circles of support and encouragement too.

It is a cliché – and an unfair one at that – to suggest that women drag men away from their favorite pastimes.  However, it is true that once a relationship begins to develop, things change as priorities get rearranged.  This goes for both parties, as men and women begin to rank time spent together above those things they traditionally did.  However, sometimes one party can influence the other to a greater extent and soon the concessions begin to be one sided.

If this is the case in a dating relationship, it just makes sense that it will only continue and possibly amplify in a marriage.  What that means is that if a guy is feeling pressured to start giving things up, or if he is noticing some absences that are beginning to bother him, he may well put the brakes on further relationship developments while he decides whether he can live with the changes – and the direction they are taking.

What a woman in these circumstances needs to do is communicate her awareness of the changes going on and make sure that she is sensitive to how they are affecting him.  If he knows that she cares, and is not deliberately trying to divorce him from old friends, he will feel less concerned and it won’t become a conflict of interests.  In fact, it may help him clarify his own priorities in terms of the relationship and cement his commitment.  Certainly the communication and a willingness to compromise will only benefit the relationship.

So ask when he last met up with the guys or has had a chance to get back to his old hobby.  And see if he wants to go next week.  He may not want to, or may jump at the chance, but either way you are dramatically improving the odds that he will want to spend more time around you, too.Learn what you can do to get your boyfriend to start thinking about marriage with you

Sincerely,

Dan Kelly

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